My Third Tear-Free Year: How I Got Here, and What I’ve Learned
as 2025 comes to a close, i’m reaching the end of my fourth breakdown-free and third tear-free year in a row, which i started documenting back in 2023.
this will be my third year straight of total liberation from emotional and experiential suffering 24/7, where both my daily life/timeline and my healing/deliverance process were completely free from experiencing sadness to the point of wanting or needing to cry.
this tear-free embodiment and experience of my reality has been one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given me.
i want to share how i reached this point through my personal process of healing and deliverance, and what God’s taught me through it so far.
They shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion and shall flow together and be radiant with joy over the goodness of the Lord … And their life shall be like a watered garden, and they shall not sorrow or languish any more at all.
Jeremiah 31:12 AMPC
my tear-free state was accomplished solely through cosmic, supernatural relationship with Father God, and an extended intensive of God-led multidimensional healing for my soul. He directed me to work on my personal energy field in multiple specific ways for about 18 months straight in 2021-2022, and i felt so much lift and clear from my heart and mind month to month as i obeyed.
having first my breakdowns, then my crying spells lighten in intensity as i focused on my internal alchemy with God until they eventually ceased altogether took me completely by surprise. it wasn’t a healing outcome that i was seeking or aiming for by any means, back then.
i had already experimented with the ‘i create my own reality’ layer of the spirituality matrix years ago, with very dismal results that did nothing to convince me that human beings could manifest our way out of negative emotion or experience. like most other people who have either spiritually awakened or committed to personal development, i had reconciled myself to the self-healing path being a never-ending journey.
i had fully accepted continuing to have a ‘perfectly imperfect’ life with both highs and lows as part of the full-spectrum human experience, even after coming home to God… so to say that this personal shift came as a shock to me is an understatement.
the vast majority of my 18-month healing intensive with God was a simple and repetitive, ‘put your head down and just do the work’ kind of process… so much so that it took me a long while to realize that it was taking me somewhere unexpected.
i would feel multiple layers of blocks and wounding come up in my lightbody either spontaneously, or after an internal/external trigger, and the work would begin. my purges would get significantly deeper and much more emotionally intense on the days around full/new lunar phases, eclipses, and most of autumn (esp. around Halloween + the tropical Scorpio astrological window). i went with the flow of alchemical clearing for as long as it took to address these layers whenever they surfaced, usually multiple days a week but often every single day during those deeper purge times.
here are the main types of soul healing* that God had me run on myself:
1) entity removal through the authority of Yeshua (much more effective after accepting him as my savior)
2) emotional density release (weighs down the field, blocks energy centers, and skews daily mood)
3) thought loop and mental program clearing (hijacks and preoccupies the mind)
4) clearing and repairing energy centers/chakras (taking out entities and implants, balancing hyper/hypo dysfunction)
5) black magic cleansing (sent against the lightbody during spiritual warfare and builds up in the field)
6) inorganic timeline clearing (liberating daily life from trauma loops co-created with the enemy)
7) core etheric wound restoration (filling in the brokenness left behind after removing bondage)
*note: when i say ‘soul healing’ here, i am referring to the fact that all of the work that i was directed to run during this time was on the soul level of the soul-spirit— i did not distinguish between the soul and spirit as a healer back then or start to get spirit-level work for myself until much later.
i only started to suspect that i was moving towards some sort of permanent mental and emotional healing with this work when the same purge times and triggers kept circling back for me, but my breakdowns and collapses around them began lessening, and clearing out more quickly.
later down the line, i was able to look back and realize that in just about every month so far my alchemical process was becoming lighter and easier than in the month before, with the exception of some eclipse seasons. this continued progressively throughout my 18-month crucible until what usually would’ve taken my heart hours to feel and release took minutes, and what usually would’ve caused my mind to spiral out just didn’t have the same effect anymore.
and because of all this… i started to feel just fine mentally and emotionally the vast majority of the time, even in moments of urgent self-work. it was like an inner core of stability and resilience had been unlocked, to keep me grounded and relaxed no matter what.
as my internal restoration progressed, the external ‘lows’ of my life were also becoming less intense and painful, because my fallen timeline was shifting into more of my Kingdom timeline as i healed. i was experiencing more safety and progress in every area of my life, and the inorganic crisis and stasis loops diminished in drama and anguish until they eventually stopped altogether.
i reached a point where i stopped having a somatic experience of sorrow around either my internal alchemy or my external reality, and my body no longer had to cry to process and clear out the lower-level sadness and heartache. and from there, i began to feel a level of peace and joy every single day that was shockingly consistent and effortless.
it took me a while to notice all this was happening… but once i did, i was very confused. i went through a solid three stages of processing just trying to figure out what was going on, and whether there was something wrong with me.
first, i wondered, ‘when was the last time that i got really upset and cried? wasn’t that kind of a long time ago?’ i was wary, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it just kept… not being necessary for me to clear whatever came up to heal, week after week.
then, i self-assessed, ‘am i emotionally shut down? has my heart or sacral closed?’ but i realized i was still moved to tears regularly at the pain or joy of others, the beauty of life, cute babies/kittens, etc as the months went by.
finally, i dared to ask, ‘is it really possible for me to just embody 24/7 supernatural peace and joy? can i really go on living like this day to day, even while i’m still working on myself?’ i had literally never seen or heard of this happening for anyone, so i had no idea.
God said “yes,” and that brought me into a fourth and final stage of acceptance. my days of supernatural peace and joy simply continued on… and here i am, three years in.
being able to live tear-free every single day is a miraculous blessing, that i will never take for granted.
progressing in emotional-experiential elevation every season as i did the alchemical work was completely uncharted territory for me as an intuitive healer, and i had so many questions for the Father about this process unfolding in my lightbody.
there were several surprising and sometimes heretical Truths around healing and deliverance that He revealed to me, to help me understand how and why my thoughts were becoming clearer and my emotions were getting lighter as i worked on my field.
God taught me that the two root causes of all emotional and experiential suffering are 1) soul-spirit bondage and brokenness, which all human beings have on some level, and 2) the deliberate targeting and manipulation of this bondage and brokenness by anti-Christ forces.
bondage and brokenness of the soul and spirit come in many types and forms, including but not limited to core etheric wounds and traumatic patterns, entity influence and possession, mental programming and false belief systems, emotional density and miasma, energy center and channel issues, part and alter fragmentation, and generational iniquity and curses.
i learned that full liberation of the soul-spirit comes from developing a personal, supernatural relationship with God, and following His lead to restore every part of ourselves back into wholeness. this is the work of healing and deliverance, which involves removing each layer of bondage holding us captive, and repairing every wound and fracture of brokenness underneath.
our healing and deliverance walk is an extended, multidimensional process, but it can go very fast, and each breakthrough that we make along the way is permanent. every single step that we take with the Father in this process brings us closer to soul-spirit wholeness, and progressively raises our emotional-experiential baseline over time.
supernatural peace and joy is the innate and organic baseline of the individual with optimal lightbody health and inner union with our Creator. this is the emotional-experiential state that i basically stumbled into through my accelerated process, and have been personally experiencing for the last three years.
however, i did not have to become 100% whole to start experiencing this baseline as my new and sustained personal reality— i just needed to get far enough in my healing and deliverance process to reach a point of foundational soul-spirit recovery.
when i ask God what an accurate percentage for this level of wholeness might be for everyone, He gives me an estimate of around 60%… which means that only slightly more than half of our soul-spirit has to be restored in order for us to reclaim the Edenic peace and joy that is our birthright.
i still haven’t reached the point of 100% wholeness for myself yet, but i can tell that most of the heavy lifting work was done during that 18-month intensive, because my healing and deliverance process has been smooth sailing ever since.
my personal alchemy has continued on through these tear-free years, with deeper and more complex layers of bondage and brokenness that i had no knowledge or awareness of earlier being revealed to me by God, but all of these layers have cleared with incredible ease and speed, along with consistently minimal disturbance of my daily life and thoughts/emotions.
i fully believe that a tear-free personal reality is possible for every human being on the planet to receive and experience.
the first step is to realize and accept that it is possible for each one of us as human beings to attain emotional and experiential liberation in this lifetime, and that the level of soul-spirit wholeness required for this (just 60%!) is not an impossibly high bar for anyone to meet.
the second step is to devote ourselves to our personal relationship with God, and let Him address anywhere we hold resistance to being set free from mental-emotional suffering and brought back into our original design.
the third step is to commit to our personal healing and deliverance as a path that we walk together with Him, and take every step that He guides us to until we reach the threshold of foundational lightbody restoration and cross over into supernatural peace and joy.
back in 2023, i didn’t really get why the Father was asking me to post and declare the state of becoming permanently breakdown-and-tear-free so openly— being fully aware that the vast majority of my following and anyone else who read it would likely dismiss it as luck, naïveté, or spiritual bypassing.
it felt very edgy and intimidating for me to state publicly for the first time, while having to surrender and trust that it could, in fact, continue in the future… but God kept confirming that it would, and i knew that He wouldn’t ask me to put it on the record in this way unless it was vitally important for me to do so.
now i understand that it was to start the clock on this ongoing testimony of living tear-free with Him, which will continue to expand as the years go by.
being anchored by God into foundational soul-spirit wholeness very quickly in my personal journey with Him was essential to accelerate my destiny as a priestess and healer who must intercede on behalf of others with unwavering inner stability.
the Father has tasked me with being the ‘last one standing’ in the spirit realm countless times in these last four years, working overtime to support and stabilize loved ones, clients, Kingdom leaders, and community members through waves of extreme warfare and severe purging… only because i myself can no longer be taken out by them simultaneously.
without this high level of psychosomatic grounding and resilience that the Lord saw fit to bring me into very early on in my cosmic faith walk, He would not have been able to use me to serve and deliver many in their urgent time of need.
attaining emotional-experiential liberation with God is a new frontier for the Body of Christ, one that the church will have to metabolize as a part of our Kingdom inheritance that needs to be actively pursued here and now for our earthly lives, instead of just enduring personal suffering until death or the rapture.
it is becoming increasingly mission-critical for all believers to reach the level of foundational soul-spirit wholeness where the enemy can no longer target and collapse out their minds, hearts, and lives during crucial times of personal initiation and collective service.
this shift needs to happen fast for the Body of Christ to walk in our highest dominion and destiny. the vast majority of Christians worldwide are still convinced that repeated patterns of difficulty and heaviness in daily life are just their personal cross to bear, despite the fact that Lord Yeshua himself said that his yoke is supposed to be easy, and his burden is supposed to be light.
if you are a believer who is called to start transitioning into emotional-experiential liberation with God, He will begin to illuminate and transform every part of you that still bows in allegiance to pain and suffering, and all other forms of existential death and hell, as normal and necessary for yourself, other believers, and humanity in general.
as 2025 ends, i am celebrating the completion of another tear-free year… and calling in many more not only for myself, but also for the collective. i will continue to share my personal experience of living with supernatural peace and joy, in service to the many souls who will reach this point (and go beyond it!) in the future.
i never saw my first breakdown-free or tear-free months coming. all i did was focus on my process, and do the work that God gave me… until all of a sudden, i was in them! this next year could be the one where you get the same breakthrough, if you persist in your healing and deliverance path with Him.
p.s. i’ve been intimately supporting women with their healing and deliverance process since 2022 (and loving it!), but my personal season of service is shifting drastically in 2026, and because of that i will not be able to take on any new clients for private sessions moving forward.
Covenant Partnership is the new offering that the Father has given me to consistently support my community on the extended journey to emotional-experiential liberation.
partners receive daily prayer from me, and twice-monthly deep intercession days with as many hours of healing and deliverance support as God guides me to run. this offering has already begun, but it will really kickstart at the very beginning of 2026— January 1st will be our first ever deep intercession day!
learn more, and step into covenant here.
